Shanta Milner, LPC, NCC
28 Mar
28Mar

Imagine you are sitting in the driver’s seat, hands gripping the wheel, heart pounding in your chest. The road stretches ahead, but your mind is already racing somewhere else. What if I lose control? What if I panic? What if I embarrass myself?

Your breathing is shallow, your body tense, and suddenly, driving does not feel like freedom. It feels like survival.If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. Driving anxiety is not just about fear. It is about the stories we tell ourselves. The what ifs, the past experiences, the need for control, the fear of losing it. Your mind has created a narrative about what driving means for you. But here is the truth. That story is not set in stone. It can be rewritten.

What Story Is Your Anxiety Telling You?

Take a moment and think about what your anxiety says when you get behind the wheel.

  • "I am not a good driver."
  • "Something bad is going to happen."
  • "I cannot handle the stress of traffic, highways, or new routes."
  • "I will panic and make a mistake."

These thoughts may feel true, but they are just one version of the story. Anxiety has a way of taking past experiences. Maybe a near accident, a moment of feeling lost, or even someone else’s negative comment. Then it turns them into rules. It convinces you that because something happened once, it will happen again.

Cognitive therapy teaches us that thoughts shape our reality. If you believe you are unsafe, your body will respond as if danger is real, even when it is not. But what if you challenged those thoughts? What if you rewrote the narrative?

Rewriting the Story of Driving Anxiety

Let’s take those anxious thoughts and reshape them.

  • Instead of “I am not a good driver,” try “I am a learning driver and every time I practice, I get better.”
  • Instead of “Something bad is going to happen,” try “Most drives are uneventful and I have the ability to handle what comes my way.”
  • Instead of “I will panic and lose control,” try “I have had anxious moments before and I always find a way to get through them.”

Your brain listens to the words you speak. The more you repeat these new statements, the more they become your truth.

Facing the Road with a New Perspective

Narrative therapy teaches us that we are not our fears. Anxiety is just a character in the story. It is not the author. You are. And as the author, you have the power to change how the story unfolds.

Step One: Identify the Moments That Shaped Your Fear

Think back. Was there a specific moment that made driving feel unsafe? Maybe a close call, an accident, or even a time when someone made you feel incapable behind the wheel. That moment does not define your future. It is one page in a much longer book.

Rewrite it. Instead of seeing that experience as proof that driving is dangerous, look at it as proof that you learned something. Maybe it made you more cautious. Maybe it showed you that you can recover from difficult moments. Your experience is not a sentence. It is a lesson.

Step Two: Separate Anxiety from Reality

Anxiety will tell you “This is dangerous” when really, it is “This is uncomfortable.”

It will say “You cannot do this” when the truth is “You have done hard things before.”

When anxious thoughts come up, pause and ask yourself. Is this a fact or a feeling? Just because you feel unsafe does not mean you actually are.

Step Three: Take Back Control One Mile at a Time

Start where you feel safe. Maybe it is just sitting in the car with the engine off. Maybe it is driving around the block. Maybe it is taking the same familiar route every day until it feels normal.

Small steps matter. Each one is a reminder that you are capable.

  • Breathe deeply before you start the car.
  • Play music or listen to an audiobook that soothes your mind.
  • Remind yourself that you can always pull over, take a break, and continue when ready.

Every time you drive, you are proving to yourself that you can.

You Are Stronger Than Your Fear

Anxiety will try to tell you that driving is something to fear. That you are not in control. That you are not capable.But here is the truth. You are in control. You are capable. You have faced fears before and you have survived.

This is not about forcing yourself to drive when you are terrified. It is about giving yourself the grace and space to move through the fear. To remind yourself that anxiety does not get to make the rules. You do.

The road ahead is not as scary as your mind makes it seem. With each drive, each deep breath, each moment you challenge your anxious thoughts, you are rewriting the story.

And this time, the story ends with you taking back the wheel.

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